Gayle and her partner both kept their maiden names because they couldn’t get married at the time. Her partner had their first child, and so they gave him Gayle’s partner’s last name and used Gayle’s last name as his middle name. Part of their decision was because Gayle’s partner’s last name comes at the beginning of the alphabet and Weaver is at the end, and Gayle was sick of being last at everything and didn’t want that for her kids. They stuck with the same naming for their second kid so they would both have the same last name. Gayle is the last Weaver of her family and so wouldn’t consider changing her name.
So I don’t know, I guess you just maintain whatever identity you want to maintain regardless of your name. I don’t see it as such a big deal, I know my kids are my kids even though we don’t have the same last name, you know?